In 1995, I took a yoga class for college credit at a university in Florida. I figured it would be an easy course. My first impression was that yoga was a good way to stretch. I did not think much else about it, and I did not continue my practice when that school semester ended.
In 2005, I began practicing yoga again each week in the basement of a New York City building in which I lived. Anna Hughes Dioguardi was my instructor. There was something special about the way she guided students through the practice. During her classes, I realized yoga was not just a means to stretch, but a way to keep out of my head, which was a huge reprieve at that time. I also felt that yoga seemed to be a moving meditation within which I found an ability to transcend space and time. I soon developed a twice-a-week practice.
In 2006, I strayed from my yoga practice. During this time, I became lost in addiction. I was emotionally, morally, physically, and spiritually bankrupt as the result of being in denial about the nature of my disease. I did not feel that I was a participant in my own life.
In 2007, my father called me one night on the phone from Florida. I was now living in Los Angeles. He told me that my mother was in the hospital. She had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and given a 50% chance of living the next two years. Soon, I was given an opportunity to go home and help care for my mother near the end of her life. This shift was not easy as I suffered deeply from addiction yet I somehow managed to achieve sobriety. And I was present when the time came to hold my mother's hand as she left the physical world.
What happened next can best be summarized by the following passage from the Dalai Lama's Little Book of Inner Peace:
"When at some point in our lives, we meet a real tragedy, we can react in one of two ways. Obviously, we can lose hope and let ourselves slip into despair, into alcohol, drugs, and unending sadness. Or else we can wake ourselves up, discover in ourselves an energy that was hidden there, and act with greater clarity and more force."
After my mother transitioned, I examined my life and mortality. I looked into a mirror. I hardly recognized my face. I had spent years poisoning myself with alcohol. I was now very sick and tired. I heard the following question arise from deep within the center of my being:
"What are you going to contribute to the world with the time you have left on Earth?"
In that moment of clarity, I chose to reclaim my life and my path to wellness began. I found recovery – one day at a time – through a program of action. I obtained spiritual tools necessary to maintain a life of abstinence and serenity. I rediscovered my appreciation for yoga through daily practice. My yoga mat felt like a magic carpet – it was a safe place to explore grief, sadness, loss, surrender, and acceptance; and it taught me courage, strength, and balance. My perspective began to change as I combined conscious breathing with mindful movement. I soon realized that lessons learned on my mat were applicable to all things off the mat; and the more I gave to recovery and yoga, the more recovery and yoga gave back to me. I was ecstatic. Recovery and yoga had set me free. And I felt as if my mind had finally cleared after years of living in a haze.
Around this time, I experienced a new moment of clarity: I realized how I did not drink nor feel the need to when I helped take care of my mother. I had always wondered how that happened since during that time I had no real defense against alcohol; I did not have spiritual tools; I knew nothing about recovery; and I was not practicing yoga. Then the answer came: giving love and being of service saved me from addiction and selfishness. I was now convinced that the time I spent with my mother offering love and trying to be helpful taught me one of the greatest lessons of my life. And I knew what I would contribute to the world with the time I have left:
Give love and service to others by sharing my experience, strength, and hope with recovery through the practice and teachings of yoga.
I soon learned to teach yoga to bring its healing benefits to people who do not know about it or cannot get to it. After I completed my first teacher training certification program, I taught yoga classes to men and women in addiction recovery centers. I taught at a shelter in downtown Los Angeles. I taught at gyms and studios across Los Angeles. Then, I created 12-Step Yoga classes for people in recovery; these classes were donation-based in West Hollywood and open to everyone. Then, I created Strand Street Yoga; these classes were outdoor, community classes, also donation-based and open to everyone. Then, more opportunities followed where I was able to use yoga as a platform to share a message of recovery, transformation, and healing. I felt as if I was fulfilling my purpose in life. I was happy and healthy… until I was suddenly struck with debilitating pain in my lower back. I was unable to walk, sit, stand, or lie down without extreme discomfort.
I visited a doctor. I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disease. I tried chiropractic care, physical therapy, exercise, massage, and other modalities, but nothing helped relieve the pain. Then, out of desperation, I visited another doctor. He looked at my chart. He asked: “You’re a yoga teacher?” I said yes. He closed my file. “You know what to do,” he said. “Strengthen your core to support the affected area.”
I went home and focused on my personal healing. I thought about poses that strengthen the lower back area. I did these specific postures every day for the next week. Each day, I felt a little stronger. Within a few weeks, the pain in my back was gone and has not returned since.
I was now certain I was on a path to wellness and wholeness. I had experienced firsthand that recovery, yoga, love, and service, are essential elements for living a meaningful life. And I knew that my experiences with these principles and practices would be the message I am to carry out into the world.
Now, it's 2024... It’s been quite a few years since the events described above. And life has continued to offer many opportunities for me to deepen my awareness about recovery, yoga, love, and service. For example, I am now a father to a beautiful little girl. I get to create audio courses and meditations for Insight Timer. I write articles and contribute content for yoga magazines and wellness websites including Newsweek and Well + Good. I have been interviewed about my work by Yoga Digest, Life By Me, Rise Recover Live, The Healing Place, Healing the Divide, Sun and Moon Sober Living, Mantra Wellness, Sivana East, Neon Tommy, Recovery 2.0, Voyage LA, and Malibu Times. I was invited to be a yoga ambassador for lululemon and Manduka, as well as Yoga Aid and YogaEarth. I lead yoga retreats, facilitate meditation workshops, and offer talks at special events. And my book about the principles of recovery and yoga is now available worldwide. And, thank God, I am still sober, one day at a time, for more than 14 years now.
Special thanks to yoga and meditation teacher Chelsey Charbeneau who told me in 2009 that I would become a yoga teacher someday. When I was ready to do it, she offered her love and support to help me become a teacher. And thanks to my teacher Saul David Raye, who taught me how to teach yoga from my heart.
Some places I have taught yoga: LA Fitness, Equinox, Jade Apple Yoga, Updog Yoga, Yoga Collective, Pop Physique, Rising Lotus Yoga, Cliffside Malibu, Cast Recovery, Riviera Recovery, The Canyon, Longbranch Recovery, Agoura Power of Yoga, Strand Street Yoga, Coolhot Yoga, M6 Fitness, La Casa de Maria Retreat Center, and Four Seasons Westlake Village.